Spanish Wedding Q. and A.

In case you ever find yourself invited to a wedding in Spain, you might have some questions before you go....

Q. Are all weddings in Spain in a church?
A. Many, but they are also held in quaint cobblestone village Town Halls complete with piped-in pop music, brides reading weepy declarations of their love and traditional dancers toting swords and a flute. All within a walled city dating back to the 1200's overlooking France.

Q. Is black appropriate to wear to weddings in Spain?
A. It would be highly inappropriate to wear anything but black with nylons. Take blue for instance, without nylons. If you have bare legs you might be asked by a French woman if you are from Leeds. (Ouch).

Q. What might I be handed by said French woman later?
A. Her drink, while she waltzes to the dance floor.

Q. To which I should inquire?
A. "Huh?!"(and proceed to set it down and walk away).

Q. What might she ask me 5 minutes later?
A. Where "the girl who is holding her drink" put her beloved champange.

Q. To which I should reply?
A. "Where I was sitting," describing the far side of the reception hall (insert sweet smile).

Q. What might I be served for dinner after appetizers of tapas?
A. 1. liver pate with bread 2. a phyllo dough seafood wrap 3. a crab stew filled crab shell 4. an entire flounder fish each 5. mojito sorbet 6. an entire rib eye steak with salad and pimentos 7. three desserts plus wedding cake

Q. What might I drink?
A. More vino than you can possibly conceive, water, champange, beer, coffee, Absenythe-looking liquor made from what everyone calls "herbs."

Q. What music might I hear?
A. The essentials. Oye Como Va, La Bamba, and Achy-Breaky Heart in Spanish. And a "traditional song" that sounded Celtic featuring a mean flute solo and head banging.

Q. What challenges might I run into?
A. Finding fresh air. Finding the door to the outside through the cloud of cigaretee smoke to get to the fresh air.

Q. Are neckties-turned-headbands universal among Spanish men ages 20-30 as well as Americans after a significant amount of alcohol?
A. Definitely.

Q. How long will the wedding reception last?
A. This is not entirely known. A guaranteed 12 hours after which jetlag rears its ugly head and time becomes an abstract concept...



Be Well,

B